Snip Snip

Friday, 12 Novembre 2010

Day 5 of birthcontrol. I seem to feel fine. Maybe a little bit less enthusiastic about being here… I should tell Sylvie about that slight mood change.

Also – cut my hair today.

Yes. I. Cut/Chopped. Off. My. Own. Hair. I’m not done. It’s at the “awkward, growing out stage” which doesn’t make much sense because I just cut it… so I’m gonna take my scissors to it again tomorrow and really cut it short. I figured I might as well chop it all off now instead of waiting another year and not have it grown out when I get back to the States. Hopefully it will grow out healthy.

Told ma that I cut my hair. Her first words, very faint and quite: “how short?!” and then when I said pretty short, but I’m gonna cut more… she said “uh oh, you’re not well at all” WHAT? Just because I cut my hair doesn’t mean I’m not well. Dang it. But I understand her concern and I know she’s just worried that I’m not okay. She always jumps at the slightest opportunity to help me: “I’ll find a book on that language and send it to you.” So sweet. But I really need her to take care of herself and pops. She’s been sick for so long: since June! I need her to get well! I don’t want anything, not one thing bad to happen while I’m away. Not even bad: I don’t want anything slightly bad, wrong, unpleasant, not okay to happen. I want ma & pa to be happy and healthy while I’m away. Really – I do.

Current book: “The End of Eternity” by Isaac Asimov

Damn you Sci-Fi books!! So nerdy, but so good.

Sissyneck

Thursday, 11 October 2010

It’s November and I haven’t done any PACA tools. WTF? I need to do my damn job but it’s difficult without direction. It’s difficult without a superior – not even that – it’s difficult being the 1^st volunteer at site. They don’t what what to do with me and I don’t quite not what I’m supposed to do here.

Sensibilisations: okay. About what?

Family Planning and the importance of “spacing” out children so they have the means to raise them and give them a healthy life. This also includes the steps to take once you are pregnant. Yes, but for what? Their lives will consist of the same hardships. Okay: Devil’s advocate. Stop it.

HIV/AIDS is not a big priority here due to the fact that the percentage of the population infected is quite low.

Nutrition: or lack there of. Malnurished children are not a big problem here. Okay, no, even a small percentage of malnurished children is a BIG problem && to talk about a good, balanced and healthy diet is always important.

Palu: Malaria is the number one problem in every part of Burkina Faso. Because it’s such a big issue and quite serious, I don’t know if I have the means to take on that task! Why is there not government funding for prophylaxis of malaria? Tablets like the ones I take on a weekly basis to prevent the infestation of the protozoan parasite within my red blood cells? Mayber there is, and I just don’t know about it?

Those are the four basic areas of which I need to “help.” Intestinal parasites would be put under Nutrition. But then also, there is the issue of hygiene. First and foremost I need to learn the vocabulary to properly talk and “sensibilize” about these 4 to 5 topics. I also need to learn the correct and detailed information of the above subjects. That’s where the IST (in-service training) comes in, I suppose.

Selfish Reasons

Wednesday, 10 Novembre 2010

I had a good but sad filled day. I ready two books: “PUSH” by Saphire and “Animal Farm” by George Orwell. I had started and finished “The Last Unicorn” in just over one day. Why am I hiding myself in books again? For the first time I thought to myself that I really don’t want to be here… and if I do… I might be here for the wrong reasons… I quickly shrugged these off and blamed my blue mood. But am I really here because I want to be or because I know I should be and this is because I don’t know what else I would do? Am I here because I know it will do ME good when 2 years come and go? What is this nonsense? I should be here because I care about helping these people who live in this community – if not to start big projects, at least to help one person. Am I not here because I am a selfless person? Why am I thinking in such selfish ways? Where does selfless come from when there is still the root of self. You cannot act upon one thing without thinking of the effects on you…or can you? I guess I’m still learning – I’m always learning. But most of all I’m learning about myself/others/and how we all meld together. I know I have acted when there was no such reward for myself – but I also know that the ability to say that is an award in itself, is it not? Selfless and selfish meld together as you and I do. If we were all selfless I do believe the world would come to a standstill. If we truly were all selfless our being would disappear because we wouldn’t have anyone to be selfless towards. I hate it. But the world seems to need selfishness in order for there to be those who give themselves to others.

Or maybe I’m being selfish in wanting to be selfless.

Maybe I’m just playing with words.

Escherichia coli: 1, Giardia lamblia: 1, Me: 0

Monday, 8 Novembre 2010

I haven’t written in such a long time – I technically had time, but I didn’t choose to use it because I had access to 1^st world luxuaries again: TV, movies, running water, shower, toilet, A/C, internet (not all the time), refridgerator. 1^st world luxaries I didn’t ever think to appreciate when I had them 24/7. So – to say the least, I was distracted. Why was I graced by all these niceties? I was in Ouaga for one thing and then on top of that I got sick (again) and stayed the night in the med unit. Wednesday, 27 Oct. I left for Ouaga due to doctor’s orders.

Here’s a breakdown:

• Wed. Leave for Ouaga (PCMO’s orders): catch 14:00 bus from Sapouy
• Thu. Meet with Sylvie again: found nothing in stool sample: gave me metemucil. Released from doctor.
• Fri. Leave Ouaga due to no housing: catch 17:00 bus, stay night in Sapouy
• Sat. Leave Sapouy @ 12:30. Go back at 16:00
• Sun. Catch 7:00 bus for Ouaga to go to SIAO
• Mon. Banks closed. No SIAO
• Tue. SIAO!! // get fever that night
• Wed. Call Sylvie because of persistent fever. Bacteria found in stool
• Thu. See Jean Luk because still feel sick. One more stool sample
• Fri. Parasite found!!
• Sat. Stay in med unit
• Sun. Get back to site.

So a week of that was for medical purposes. Now I have the lovely task of explaining to all the people in my village as to why I was away from site for 10 nights and too many days. I got sick in Ouaga, damn it! So in reality: I used 4 TAC (time away from community) days and should be reimbursed for the other days I was in Ouaga because of those medical purposes.

Next big news: Dr. Claude (the APCD, or the head cheese of the Community Health sector in Burkina Faso) is supposidly coming to my site Wednesday! But I don’t know if that’s a good idea… I need to call her today and see what she thinks – but first I need to figure out what my major was saying about another village & tomorrow (are we going somewhere?!)

Aside from all this, I feel healthy now – Finally! I want & need to start training for this damn marathon come this hot season. That’s 7 months from now (I think) and if I don’t start now I’m not going to be able to run it.

My Health has Climbed into a Well

26 October 2010

So I’ve been consistently sick for the past two days: have had a steady fever (99.8 – 102.6) and my stomach aches… not cramping… not spastically coming and going… but an ongoing soreness. I don’t know what that means, but I’m definitely going to call a PCMO (Peace Corps Medical Officer) and make an appointment. So with me feeling more than under-the-weather, I have been at my house, never leaving except to use the latrine, for the past 48 hours. Solitary confinement with a twist: an unlimited number of visitors who barge into your own little space and then attempt to make conversation in a foreign language. I know: they’re only seeing if I feel better – they don’t want anything bad to happen to their very first nassara. But geez, it gets pretty tiring to always put on a smile when you feel like shit – or stand up and meet someone at the door because you don’t want them to come in when your stomach feels like it’s going to rip in two. T I R I N G, I tell you. But the major (the head nurse at the CSPS) and Agathe have been all too kind. They have been checking up on me every so often. Congo (the major) came by with a blood pressure machine and a thermometer – and Agathe came armed with bouille (porridge-like substance made from millet here) and at night: rice with minimal flavor to ward off cramping. So nice.

On top of all his: I have a ridiculous pimple on my jaw line and a sty on my left lower eyelid. :[ But with this “free” time I’ve jumped into more than half of “Kafka on the Shore,” cleaned/cut my nails and toe-nails, shaved my legs and thoroughly washed my hair. Joy. Oh – and cleaned my house, made a shopping list for Ouaga and thought all too much about my place back home: friends, family, Splashtown, apartments, schooling, love affairs, lost friendships, the price difference of different states, the job market, vacation time… yes. All. Too. Much.

Maybe I’ve ingested too much bleach? (we put a tiny bit of bleach in our water to kill bacteria and parasites after we filter it) My gut is taught and hard and makes me think of all the problems my mom has with her digestive system. Maybe I have appendicitis? Possibly something wrong with my pancreas? What about a big, huge worm taking vacation in my small/large intestines? How about an ulcer? Man, who knows… I just hope a PCMO figures it out and I hope it’s nothing serious… maybe just a build up of gas?! Ha. That’d be hilarious. Diagnosis: Flatulants are caught in your large intestine and can’t escape from your colon. Nice. But I secretely, not so secret anymore, hope that if it is serious: I hope it’s enough to get me a nice vacation outside the country. Terrible, huh? Not so much. I’m still waiting for my wisdom to come in so I can take a trip to Senegal or South Africa. Hey now – no judgemental eyes: all PCVs do this

… I think.

Three Epiphanies in One Day

23 October 2010

• Epiphany #1: I enjoy tô
• Epiphany #2: I really enjoy being at site
• Epiphany #3: Schedules/Routines are wanted/needed

Phew! That’s a lot for one day. I rode back to village from Sapouy today after spending the night at Emily’s house (even though I really wanted to get back to site – she’s really persuasive). The ride back was okay today. Hot. But overall, just okay… even with my iPod. Lately I’ve been enjoying the ride, but today was different. Sapouy is good – I love being able to drink cold beverages whenever I want: frozen bissap, cold soda, water, frosty beer: but I’ve realized this taints my tongue and tricks my mouth when I get back to village. Yes – I love the marché, and it’s necessary if I want a well balanced diet, but I have dinner with Agathe (the pharmacist) at least 4 nights out of the week, at least lately. The produce don’t stay long without refrigeration, so I guess what I’m saying is I don’t think I need to leave site too often. Yes, I will more than likely go to Sapouy once a week for marché and to check mail – but aside from that I don’t think I’ll be traveling there to spend the night. If I’ll travel – I want to do so in a way to see other sites like mine. That way I won’t be spending much money – nor would I be wasting my time in a city when I could be integrating.

I enjoy tô (pronounced toe): I do. Not much to explain there. It’s difficult to explain what tô is, so I’ll let your imagination wander. Just know it’s comprised of flour made from corn, millet or sorghum mixed into boiling water & thickened to the consistency of cold porridge (but hot) and then accompanied by a variety of sauces. My appreciation of tô is solely based on the sauce; if the sauce is good, then the tô is good. I love two sauces and need to learn their names so I can learn how to prepare them here and back at home: YES! I do want to show you all tô.

Needing and wanting a schedule has been a long time coming. Training for a marathon requires a set schedule and routine. It’s more of a need, but I’ve realized I do want it as well. But this need to workout is both for my health and for appearance: everything in this country is carb after carb, and I’m afraid if I don’t work out and continue to do so – I will gain weight. And no one wants that – well, except for ALL the Burkinabè here who insist that I eat more so I CAN gain weight. They want me to go home fat so everyone back in the States thinks this country is bien. Ha.

My Attempt at Organizing my Life

22 October 2010

My mind has been crowded with talks of marriage. Let’s get back to here: where I am: small village: Burkina Faso: West Africa: 5 hours ahead of the life I knew back in the States. No births lately. The top 3 maladies: Palu (malaria), Rhinosomethingoranother (upper respiratory infection), and Parasitosis (intestinal parasites). The groups being affected the most: Adult women & children/infants ages 1-4. What does this mean? It means (when I start being able to do work) my sensiblisations should be targeted towards women with children. What to do next? PACA (if I knew the exact meaning of those four letters, I would write them out for you all – just know it’s different community focused, participatory activities to study the culture, community and mindsets of the people). What PACA tool? Daily activities of all the different women and men: including all three ethnic groups: Mossi, Gourounsi, and Feulfeuldé. Then talk to the members of CoGes (Comité de Gestion – I don’t know how to translate this, sorry). I need to do a needs assessment with the staff of the CSPS also.

Either way – I have too much music flowing through me. I’ve realized I want and more than anything else need this music.