Sometimes I wonder what I'll really do for the rest of my life. Will I really be a doctor? Or will I give up my dream career and my aspirations to be a damn good mother? Or will I end up being a photographer? Will I end up working a 9-5 so I can come home and fix dinner by 7:30pm? Will I travel the world, unmarried to a man, but rather married to my career? Like Dr. Farmer, who's married - but more so to his never ending list of patients. I really don't know. It all sounds so far away, but I know and feel as if it's right around the corner. Will I stay close to my family? Will my Beak and Vagabond be with me through my journey?
This is what I love about the future: you don't know. You can plan and plan until you can't and when the everchanging mistriss of time rolls around and shows you how she sees things - it will, more than likely, be entirely different than what you had in mind. I love it - and I hate it. All at the same time. I am so curious to know how it will pan out, but I am also very much worried that my planning is simply - to be frank - a waste of time and whatever happens is beyond what I can plan and has been laid out in the hands of karma, a higher being, what have you. Maybe my former self has already made my future his or her past and the present is merely a tape player rewinding itself. I guess, I suppose, I should be patient. That's one characteristic I need to work on: Patience. I am too American for that virtue. I must rid my roots and cling to a calm mind.
I feel like a "nestless bird"
- Ti Jean of Haiti
- Mountains Beyond Mountains