Saturday, June 19, 2010

Father's Day: Where's Dad?

I'm leaving in a little over 48 hours. This is actually more difficult than I had thought. I've spent this week with my mom, which has been wonderful - we had one HUGE fight: which we both blamed on the ridiculous amount of stress - and the rest of the week has been great. We've been running around town, tying together all the loose ends and making sure I have everything I need before I leave & before the weekend comes sneaking around. This entire week - it's really just been my mom and me.

This would be fine if that's all there was, mom as a single parent - or if dad wasn't around ever...but his job is starting to change, and so he's gone more often and for longer periods.
This. I. Don't. Like.
I would definitely say I'm my mother's clone, but I'm a Daddy's girl: well, besides the small period when he was literally a raging bear that hasn't eaten in three months and is hungry for blood - which defines his period of transition from a smoker to a non-smoker. But I want Dad to be around. I want him to be involved with what I'm doing. I want his approval. I realize this when he comes home and I immediately turn into a 9 year old girl & yell DAD!! And anytime I want him to listen, or pay attention I say (quite loudly) DAD yadda yadda blah blah dah yadda. I don't know why, I just adore the man and wish he had a different job. He deserves so much better. And I just wish I could have spent more time with him while I was home.

What makes it worse is that my mom gets so angry at him. She projects her sadness & frustration on him - like it's his fault. And she knows it's not. She understands the in's and out's of his job, but can't accept it. Or has accepted it for too long and is now bitter. She's angry that his job makes me sad. And it does - I am really sad that I couldn't see him more than three times this week - and may not see him when I depart from Houston. He gave me a hug *just in case* and I literally almost started crying - and I'm on the verge of tears writing about it - when I was hugging him back. He just told me how proud he was of me and how I need to be careful - and of course - he started cracking jokes so I wouldn't cry. I love that man so much and just wish he wouldn't have to worry about money so much.

C'est la vie.

On another note: I know I look young - but I ran around town today to get an H1N1 vaccination which is mandatory for staging (that's a completely other story & a long one at that) : and was asked if I had a complete shot record with me since I was at a new clinic. I told them no, and that I just wanted the vaccination and would probably never be back due to the fact that it was almost in Houston and we live in Huffman. They said that was okay - and asked me to sit in the waiting area. I proceeded to look around and came upon a sign that said sometime along the lines of: Anyone under the age of 18 must have a current & complete shot record each time they visited the clinic. WHAT? I look like I'm under 18. Great.

Well - my mom and I drive through Joe's Drive-Thru (a gas station, but a drive through) and asked for a pack of Marlborough Reds box (for my mom, of course) and the lady looked at me...and said - can I see your ID. My mom chimed in and said they were for her. I was appalled!! WHAT?! Still, I look under 18?! Absurd.

True - I'll appreciate it when I'm 30-something, but now, it's just a wee bit annoying.

pish posh.

1 comment:

  1. You do look like a kid! That's why I dated you! Yup yup! I'm so sorry for you and your pops. I miss my dad alot too. I never see him, and he never comes to visit. When I visit he is always working. The only way to hang out with him is to go clean pools. So frustrating. Either way. You will be missed while you are in Africa love.

    Always Beak!