Tuesday, June 15, 2010

What a Blur

This has been quite a journey. From the first thought of applying for the Peace Corps, to the process of applying, the stress of gaining much needed experience, to the anxious feeling of having to wait, the unbelievable feeling of relief when all was done, and all I had to do was wait, the overwhelming excitement after being accepted & invited, to the realization that I'll be leaving in less than a week. What a journey.

It's funny, but when I'm home packing for my two year rendevouz, I'm not anxious, nor am I worried about leaving. It almost feels like I'm not leaving. & Hopefully my body isn't trying to trick me into thinking I'll just be gone for a little while. These days, months, years have all passed so quickly. It's been a very detailed blur. I have gone in and out of stress - in and out of the excitement, the terror, the anxiety, the joy, and most of all the sadness. I am fully out of that. I am not fearful, I am not sad, I am not anxious. I am excited - in a much milder tone. I am calm. I like it this way. I don't feel like it's forced. I feel as if this is how I should be. I know there will be times when I will write in my journal, or say to myself: what have I gotten myself into...but I know what I've bargained for, and this is exactly what I want (at least this is what I think).

I can't wait to meet all the other PCTs who are going to be in Philadelphia on the 21st. I'm excited to learn where they are from, and how they decided on what they are about to embark on. I'm excited to meet the community in which I'll be living. I'm overwhelmed with excitement and nervousness about the language barrier - but I truly believe my French will pick right back up again - and I'll be able to learn both French and the local language quickly. Ha. I BETTER. I will live, breathe, speak, eat & sleep those languages. Hopefully I'll even post some entries in either the local language or French (I'm actually really excited about that).

Well - it truly has been a blur of friends, relationships, family, locations, education & life experiences. I'm so privileged to have been with such good company, and so many positively influential people in the past three years: these people, and things I have learned have molded me into the person I am right now - regardless of whether the change was minute or drastic. I am so thankful for all the support I have. I just wanted to say thank you.

No comments:

Post a Comment