Sweat Sweat Dance!

28 Août 2010

We're affecting tomorrow morning! Whoa! This is it - I'm moving into my new home for the next two years and it's the beginning of a new job - a new adventure. I am scared. lonely. excited. intimidated. sad. happy. overjoyed. determined. motivated. intrigued. I am all of the above and I am things that can not be put down in words. I am a volunteer.

Let's talk about the fact that:

I'M A VOLUNTEER NOW!
August 27th = SWEAR IN + 22ND BIRTHDAY

It was everything I had thought it would be and beyond. Swearing-in felt so good: surreal. I love everything about it - my complet, my friends, the guests, the speakers, the food, the drinks, the language, the pictures: everything! After the amazing ceremony we went to Chez Simone and off to a dance hall / bar and dance danced danced! Then hopped over to another dance hall. It felt so great to just let loose! It was a blast.

Major Lazer

August 25, 2010

I really don't get it. I don't want to deal with these mind games - I don't want to put effort into something that's not worth my time. I am being pursued and I don't want to be. I want to completely be myself and be by myself these next two years. I want to find how I am when I'm without a man. I want to know what my own thoughts are and why they are and what makes them so. I don't want to play these dating games. I don't want a quick fuck, nor to I want to be one. I could care less why one thinks it's difficult to pursue another in West Africa. I don't want to listen to your glorified stories with fabricated events and climaxes. I don't want to share puns and insinuate things that please you just so I don't hurt your feelings. I don't want to be the latest name in the gossip scene. I just want to be by myself. Me, myself and I. I don't need nor do I want a man... at least I don't want a new man right now. It's difficult enough to be in the country of upright people and not know how to be upright without a crutch. No thank you. I don't want to dodge any more kisses, pecks, hugs, rubs, or even sly comments. We're not in middle school - so please don't act like an adolescent. I don't need that. It's difficult enough when you don't even know where you stand with the people back home. Let me be. Let us be friends. No more. No Less. That's all I need.

ouch - that was harsh.
sorry.

Bring me Back

Sunday, 22 Août 2010

"and there you are asleep against the window pane just like always - you said you like to hear the rain sometimes and all I can do is tell you the truth"

What is it about music that completely brings you back?

I have traveled back in time and am driving the Hyundai Elantra with Bean, Chris and Jimmy listening to this band full blast - driving out on dirt roads without a care in our minds. It's amazing.

Earlier I was with Adam - listening to him sing at the top of his lungs to Jamie Cullen while we're driving to Rosa's to get some tacos for his family in Midland. All I could do was laugh - that's it. I wish I could call him and talk to him about how much I miss him - Not just in a mushy gooshy way, but really, truly miss his company...when it was just me and him: Beak and Bird. I miss joking around with him, teasing him, him teasing me and just hanging out together.

I love music. I love the way it can completely transform your day: your experiences: your everything. Even your relationships. Sometimes I wonder if Adam's mom had it right when she told us about her dream. Maybe she isn't seeing the whole picture, not everyone in the dream is a clear image.

Until then - I'll live my life through this music that flows through my veins.

Chez Taillour & Hook-Ups

August 21, 2010

It's been a long time since the last entry due to the fact that this journal has been at the tailor's since Monday...maybe longer? Good news: My complet (a two piece outfit made of the same material, usually referring to a skirt and a top) is finished and I really love it! I am kind of thinking of getting the skirt taken in a little bit, but because I have to ride my bike I don't want it to be too tight. But it's exactly as I designed it! With a few minor changes and adjustments. I got a dress made too and I love that - it's wonderful and comfortable and easy!

Enough about dresses and getting clothes made (even though I love love love it) - let's talk about what's been going on socially. Everybody loves to gossip and predict who will hook-up, couple or what have you. Who's gonna hook-up is the biggest conversation starter and the most consistent answer would be that the senior PCVs all consider us (the mega stage) "fresh meat" and for the takin' - we'll see. I really don't understand how relationships even start here - nor do I understand the mentality of people meeting up and just "hooking up" which means, shield your eyes I'm about to be quite vulgar, fucking - I use that derogatory term because of the act which has no purpose nor emotion. I don't understand it and I don't really want to either.

I really was planning on being single for the next two years - I wasn't planning on having any kind of relations while here in Burkina Faso. I'm here for me and for the people of the country - not to hook-up, find my soul mate, or get frisky. I'll just watch the disaster from the sidelines.

Happy Birthday VAGABOND! You're 23 Years Young!

12 Août 2010

First day of Ramadan today & I'm hungry & thirsty already, and it's only 10:39 which means I've been awake for a mere 4 hours. Yay? Everyone tells me it's a deathwish to participate in Ramadan with my host family - but I think I can do it! And I'm not gonna push myself over the edge. If I can't do it, then I can't do it. I'm okay with that. But I want to try none-the-less.

@ 15:38 I ate gateaux.

I've decided that when I get to site, next year, I'll try to participate in Ramadan again...when I'm not under so much pressure & don't have to bike for 40 minutes one way to get to training. The other trainees were right...

Ramadan + Stage = Death

No thank you.

Fail.

Push the Big Red Button

11 August 2010

I'm hot and sweaty. I'm still worried about where my period is. Thanks Africa - thank you for messing up my flow.

No babies.

Not now.

I've got too much life to live.

No babies.

No baby.

No.

Period - you're late && I'm not appreciating your tardiness.

I'll be Living Where?

Monday, 09 Août 2010

Site announcements were today after all our sessions of language and whatnot! My new home for the next two years is a little village south of a provincial capital in the central southern region of Burkina Faso. *Due to Peace Corps policies, I don't think I'm allowed to post the name of my village - so I'll simply write about it!

The half page of paper I received today said I'll be living in a family compound but will have my own house. A house with two rooms and a small indoor shower area and private outdoor latrine. I'll have my own courtyard: which is great! I'll be getting a dog and cat ASAP.

I'm about 6K off the main road that runs from the capital to the south of the country. Ashley will be living in one of my neighboring villages. I think she'll be around 40K from me.

I'm the first volunteer at site! This is both really exciting and very intimidating all at the same time. I won't have to worry about filling someone else's shoes or picking up disappointed bits from a past volunteer. But I also will be doing a lot of meet and greets - it will all be my own responsibility to make ties and relations with the community members.

All in all I'm really excited - but very much saddened I'm not in the South WEST! I'm planning on making some trips down there though. I hear it's so beautiful down there - I'm a wee bit jealous.

A side note:

Just cleaned my first wound in Burkina Faso! My host brother has a gnarly looking wound on the bottom of his foot - been wrapped up in dirt and sweat for three days and now I hear him crying outside Martine and my room. We walk out and find the father burning the gash with some charcoal. I got some antiseptic and rinsed the gash and wrapped it up (with gloves of course) and made sure Martine told them that this wasn't going to make it heal...They still needed to go to the CSPS or the hospital tomorrow! I swear - that boy needs stitches! The wound seems pretty deep set. No good.

The weirdest thing is that this family is pretty well off. They have electricity, running water, cellphones and a computer - but they don't know when to go to the CSPS or how to dress a wound. That's essential - especially here in this country where everything is covered in dirt and pounds upon pounds of filth: bacteria galore! I really hope they follow through and go to the doctor tomorrow. Otherwise, Hamado is gonna be in a lot of pain for a long time and may get really sick from an infection.

Bring on the CSPS!

I'm ready.