August 25, 2010
I really don't get it. I don't want to deal with these mind games - I don't want to put effort into something that's not worth my time. I am being pursued and I don't want to be. I want to completely be myself and be by myself these next two years. I want to find how I am when I'm without a man. I want to know what my own thoughts are and why they are and what makes them so. I don't want to play these dating games. I don't want a quick fuck, nor to I want to be one. I could care less why one thinks it's difficult to pursue another in West Africa. I don't want to listen to your glorified stories with fabricated events and climaxes. I don't want to share puns and insinuate things that please you just so I don't hurt your feelings. I don't want to be the latest name in the gossip scene. I just want to be by myself. Me, myself and I. I don't need nor do I want a man... at least I don't want a new man right now. It's difficult enough to be in the country of upright people and not know how to be upright without a crutch. No thank you. I don't want to dodge any more kisses, pecks, hugs, rubs, or even sly comments. We're not in middle school - so please don't act like an adolescent. I don't need that. It's difficult enough when you don't even know where you stand with the people back home. Let me be. Let us be friends. No more. No Less. That's all I need.
ouch - that was harsh.