Twenty Eleven

February 18, 2011

Writing two thousand and eleven still makes me weirded out. I was born in the late nineteen eighties. 1988 and now it's the year of the future. We all thought there'd be flying cars, microchips inserted in us for credit, robots... It kind of stuns me to think of the technology we've created thus far. And here I am living as it's well, whenever it was before electricity (I should know that, shouldn't I?! gah, I graduate from college... duhhh). So we'll say I'm living as if it were a time when candles and flame lanterns were used widely and on a daily basis...

Anyway - not the point of this entry whatsoever - I just simply wanted to say how much I detest it when someone (a Burkinabé) tells me I've gained weight. I'm pretty sure I know and I don't need to be told that I've gained these damn pounds because of the diet here. Ah. That being said - I haven't really changed my habits: i.e. eating like a fat kid in a race. Speaking of races!! I need to jump on the workout/training bus again... the marathon is gonna bite me in the ass if I don't.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!

Wednesday: 12 Janvier 2011

Happy birthday to you - Happy birthday to you - Happy birthday dear Daddy! Happy birthday to you!! And many MORE! Soon enough you'll retire and spend your days relaxing by a pool, on a boat, at the sea, in the mountains, fixing your car, taking a stroll in the park, golfing again... ahh... So CLOSE!

So, I was just thinking about my future possibilities at school... maybe I'll just go ahead and get a 2nd and possibly 3rd degree. It's possible for me to go back to school: another go... and get a degree in Biology/Chemistry (Pre-Med) and while I'm at it I should just get one in Communication Design (Comm Des - for advertising). I mean, I'll be spending 2 years "updating" myself on everything Pre-Med, so why not just go the whole way and start over & while I'm at it - double major? I could freelance while I'm at school. Just an idea. But damn it - I've got a degree in Advertising and a minor in photography - I might as well put them to use while I still can. And I might as well enhance my skills.

Next step: finding a reputable University that can look good from both ends of the spectrum. Then you ask - what good is spending money on a 3rd degree? Well, because I want to & I want to have a "back-up" if Med School falls through.

This sets me back 2 or possibly 3 years... 24 when I return to the States. 28-29 when I get my other degrees and then med school is 2 years plus residency which could be anything from 3 to 6 years. So I'll be 31 when I get my doctorate and anywhere between 34 and 37 when I (start) practicing medicine. That seems so damn old! What about marriage? Kids? I wanted to be married by 26 or 27 and start popping out babies by 28. I want 3-4 kids and I have the genetics for the possibility of twins... okay, 2: BAM! and then 2 more to go. Gotta have a year or so between them. 28 = 2, 30 = 3 and 31 =4. AND I'll be going to school at the same time? Goodness. I don't know if I want that. I don't know if I want to sacrifice my career or future for that mathematical mess of kids. But maybe I'll want them more than that damn white coat. It's hard to say and at the fresh age of 22, I don't really know what I'll want when I get home. But if you don't plan, if you don't look to the future then it's really just going to pass you by without any of your own input.

2012 (Aug) - COS (close of service)... School starts in August. Maybe I can COS in July (early July) so I can travel to Japan beforehand?

2016... bust my ass to get 2 degrees

2017... @ 29 start med school

2019... @ 31 finish med school

2022 - 2025... @ 34 - 37 practice medicine.

Where is my Foundation?

21 Octobre 2010

Sometimes I wonder what I'll really do for the rest of my life. Will I really be a doctor? Or will I give up my dream career and my aspirations to be a damn good mother? Or will I end up being a photographer? Will I end up working a 9-5 so I can come home and fix dinner by 7:30pm? Will I travel the world, unmarried to a man, but rather married to my career? Like Dr. Farmer, who's married - but more so to his never ending list of patients. I really don't know. It all sounds so far away, but I know and feel as if it's right around the corner. Will I stay close to my family? Will my Beak and Vagabond be with me through my journey?

This is what I love about the future: you don't know. You can plan and plan until you can't and when the everchanging mistriss of time rolls around and shows you how she sees things - it will, more than likely, be entirely different than what you had in mind. I love it - and I hate it. All at the same time. I am so curious to know how it will pan out, but I am also very much worried that my planning is simply - to be frank - a waste of time and whatever happens is beyond what I can plan and has been laid out in the hands of karma, a higher being, what have you. Maybe my former self has already made my future his or her past and the present is merely a tape player rewinding itself. I guess, I suppose, I should be patient. That's one characteristic I need to work on: Patience. I am too American for that virtue. I must rid my roots and cling to a calm mind.

I feel like a "nestless bird"

- Ti Jean of Haiti

- Mountains Beyond Mountains

You Have No Scars Upon Your Face

07 Octobre 2010

I. Just. Witnessed. Two Births. Back. To. Back.

The first was a little boy & the second was a strong girl. The woman who was lying in the maternity had the little baby boy, where as the woman who walked for who knows how long & just made it to the CSPS on time had the strong baby girl.

I was terribly frightening and intimidating to hear and see the first woman give birth. Hollering at every contraction. I don't blame her - no anesthetics, no medication, no numbing effect.

The nurse was out making a call out near our "rezou" tree (the only place people get reception in my village)... and the woman started giving birth! The head had already breached by the time she got into the room and put gloves on. *no, I was not in the room all alone with this laboring woman, there was a midwife... or maybe just an older woman who had seen lots of births and was "helping" *

So this makes my point that there doesn't seem to be that much involved in birthin' babies:

Push. Push. Make sure the baby's out. Clamp the cord. Cut the cord. Make sure the baby's breathing. Suck snot/liquid/amniotic fluid from baby's lungs. Weigh baby. Clean. Get afterbirth/placenta out of mama. Clean. Done.

Okay - I know there's more to it...but whatev. Give me 10 years and I'll be there.

By the time the first baby came out and the nurse was sucking out the crap from the mouth - the other woman began to go into labor (if she was not already in labor on her walk over to the CSPS). She was in the hallway of the maternity - the maternity consists of a lobby, "office"/consultation room, storage, birthing room, 2nd consultation room and a recovery room. Notice only one birthing room. So this woman silently laid down and as she was bending down the baby's head breached and that little sucker was coming out!! The midwife was right there, and the nurse practically dropped the other baby (on the cushioned table of course) to tend to the other woman!! Geez. It was intense and wonderful. I didn't want to be in the doctor's side of the birthing, but I had no choice when the woman in the hallway just laid it all down in front of me. Front row seats and I didn't even want or ask for them.

I will say the weirdest thing I saw was when the 2nd woman was all done giving birth and tended to the nurse went back to the baby boy and did a sort of chest thrust/CPR move because he wasn't screaming like the baby girl. I swear she was gonna break the baby's ribcage!! But I suppose everything is still very flexible at that time (more like cartilage than calcified bone) and it can take that kind of force. But it scared me! I guess she did the right thing because the baby started screaming like the girl - & the nurse looked satisfied.

Grossest thing ever: the placenta, afterbirth, sac in which the baby lives within gestation. It's not anything I'd ever seen before and definitely not what I expected to see. For all of you out there who are curious: read on. For those with weak-stomachs or just not interested in the subject: move on.

What it resembled: a huge, thick, dark jellyfish with one long long long tentacle which comes out of the woman's vagina!!!! This alien was dark in color - more than likely from all the blood, but it could vary with skin color? It was really slimy looking and weird. But of course - you can't have a baby without this alien-jellyfish. && the birthing process is not complete without birthing this sac. (Thank's MCAT guide!)

Alas - it was gross and blood was everywhere, along with "ca-ca" and the nurse was pushing on the woman's bellies to assist with the passing of the placenta. Gah.

I loved every minute of it.

Loved it.

And this makes me believe I'm destined for this.

Not exactly birthing babies: but being in that setting.

Blood. Gross Organs. Organs in General. Rubber Gloves.

White Coats.

yes.