Heavy Lids

This has become a habit. I am staying up late, and still waking up early. My bed is always calling, but I seem to ignore it. I wait until wee hours of the morning to creep into bed - yet, still I lay. I do not fall asleep right away. I think. think. think.

I can't pin-point what I'm thinking about. Mostly, I suppose, about the life I'll live in Africa. I'm also getting homesick which is very odd. I don't know if I've ever been homesick since I was little. And when I say little - I mean since I was living in Kingwood :: that's before 3rd grade! I'm also thinking about packing - yet, I haven't been able to bring myself to start loading up my possessions...really, my life. I think that's what's holding me back - I don't want to pack my life I know into boxes just yet.

Time is passing, and I'm refusing to acknowledge the fact. I am not second-guessing my decision, I just didn't think it would come this quickly.

My eyelids are heavy.
Yet my heart is still fluttering with excitement.
and terror.