T A N G E R I N E

06 Octobre 2010

Beak's 23rd Birthday was YESTERDAY!

Happy Belated Birthday!!

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I've hit a low. It happened after I ate dinner - but I'm sure before then.

I was her love.

She was my Queen.

Thinking how it used to be.

Does she remember times like these?

To think of us again...

and I do.

I think because my head is filled with the future instead of the present: this is why I hit my low. I'm focusing on where I'll be in 2 years instead of 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months. My heart yearns to be there in the future - but my body is confined to the present. I must stay here. This is my home and it won't go any faster if I try to live with my physical body here but my heart and mind elsewhere.

Stop it.

You're here.

Put these feelings on hold.

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You

Leaving tomorrow morning: Flight departs at 6:09 AM from Bush Intercontinental.

Packing is a bitch. Actually - I'll take that back; lifting the bags you've packed for the next two years is a bitch. I had no idea these things I've chosen to travel with me would weigh so much. I weighed one bag: 48.6 pounds. The other (a larger bag): 67.3 pounds. My carry-on: 21 pounds. That's an accumulative weight of 136.9 pounds!! That's me plus a two year old - or a really really fat cat. Or I could say I'm dragging a young, slender teenager; pushing a hefty tween and carrying an average size toddler.

I've got to quit you

I didn't think I would be a mother of three at the age of 21. Nor did I think I would take my illegitimate children with me on a two year service with the Peace Corps.

Leave you when the summer comes a-rollin'.

I ain't joking woman, I've got to ramble.