Un GROS Araigné

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My heart is thumping in my chest and my nerves feel like they’re on over drive. I’m all kinds of shaken up again: I saw the BIGGEST SPIDER ON THE PLANET EARTH!

The Scorpion Carrier!

So, I’m cooking dinner, though I’m not that hungry, and notice something that crept along the wall – I thought it was another salamander (one scared me this afternoon while cooking lunch) but I noticed it seemed a lot bigger and didn’t move as spastically. So I try to shine my lanterns light on it, but it was hiding.

Why does it always have to be night when creepy crawlers come out?!!

Now I’m even more curious – I bang the table to see if it would scuttle away – but I see no movement. I finally see something HUGE come out from between my propane gas tank and my big metal bowl that holds my dishes.

I SCREAM && RUN OUTSIDE

I ran like I was in football practice, high-knees through car tires.

I know now it’s not a salamander – and I didn’t know if it was a scorpion or a scorpion carrier or just another breed of scary-ass insects! Alor, naturally my neighbor comes over, panicked, and asks what?! And I’m shaking and crying already – so I’m not much help when she’s asking questions. She finally steps into my house and asks again what is it? And all I can muster up is “c’est gros gros gros gros!” She asks “where?” and I point to where I last saw it. By this time another woman shows up, then another. They’re all asking “what?” “what’s wrong?” “where is it?” and then we see it!! I scream again and now there are four women, one man and two kids either in my house or on my patio. I’m scared shitless (excuse my French) and they all assure me it doesn’t do anything: “il faire rien.” It scurries its scary big body away and under my tent. I’m freaking out because I just want it DEAD and out of my house. My other neighbor finally kills it with my ballé (hand broom) and the man picks it up and takes it outside. I stop him and tell him I want to look at it close up. It’s DISGUSTING! It’s huge and it’s legs are long and its pinchers are big and furry and its thorax is enormous and elongated. Honestly – this thing is huge. The biggest spider I have ever seen in real life. All the people in my house say that it doesn’t bit – but it’s still scary and why would I not want it in my house?! Its name is SCORPION CARRIER. I’m just waiting for a scorpion to show up.

• 5 scorpions
• 4 bats
• 1 scorpion carrier
• 16+ other spiders

All that’s missing is a snake. Geez – that better not EVER happen.

I’m super flippin’ freaked out.

On a side note: I truly hate flies. I don’t know how many times I have said it – but I hate them. Despise them. Will never be indifferent towards them. NEVER. I was working on my computer today at the pharmacy and for some reason it was infested with flies. I don’t know if Agathe’s son being there is a cause, but I don’t remember here being that many flies before he came around. I also despise people hovering over me while I’m working

But I do love music – which helped me not punch that hovering lady today.

I listened to ABBA today and all I could think of was Ashley’s dad and how much she told me of his love of ABBA. Ha. I miss her! I can’t wait for April to get here. I hope she's able to come and isn’t pulling my leg. J